[And he would be. It would be pretty hard to miss the black, sickly looking horse pacing through the shallow waters at the edge of the lake, tossing it's head every once and awhile as if trying to rid itself of some terrible thoughts.
Thoughts like one of the people he loved being dead.]
[Bucky took a little time getting there, and maybe he was a little worried about showing up, but eventually a large polar bear easily recognizable as Bucky for various reasons pushed his way through the bushes. He stayed like that, even as he shuffled towards the lake.
He didn't know what to expect; he could tell if Fitz was angry with him over text or not.]
[Fitz was angry, he was definitely angry, but he was also heartbroken for both Skye and Bucky and worried. It was an odd combination of emotions to be dealing with and the sight of Bucky in his polar bear form didn't do anything to help him make sense of it.
For a moment the kelpie just lingered where he was, ears falling back in a distressed manner before they flicked upright again, a shudder running through his frame before he finally started moving. Slow steps took him out of the water and over to the bear, hollow eyes staring at the other before he leaned down to bump his head against the other's.
He didn't have words right now, didn't trust himself to speak really, but he could do this at least.]
[It was hard enough being a bear right now; it would have been even harder to be anything human shaped. He ducked his head when Fitz came over, shuffling his feet. He didn't know what to say, if there even was anything he could say that could make things any better.
He lifted his head at the bump, nuzzling weakly against Fitz.] I'm sorry.
[The word comes out softly but there's an edge to it at the same time, a small bite as Fitz closes his eyes and just presses further into the nuzzle.
He didn't want to talk about it. Not yet. It was too fresh, too much right now. And Bucky--Gods Bucky had been the one to do it. Fitz could only imagine how much the other was beating himself up right now.
So..no words. Just..just nuzzling. For right now.]
[He swallowed, but kept his mouth shut. Quiet. He could be quiet. He couldn't pretend to know what Fitz was thinking or how he was feeling, but he hadn't tried to murder Bucky yet. Bucky wouldn't have blamed him if he tried.
It was Bucky's fault. He wondered how upset they would be if things had been reversed. They'd known each other far longer than they'd known Bucky. It would have been easier if it was him. But it was done and over with and it didn't matter how much he thought about the would haves.]
[Fitz lingered the way he was for a moment before he backed off and allowed his form to shift. He returned to his more humanoid form and sank down to the ground in an awkward sitting position, the tendrils on his back reaching out to Bucky to draw him close.
Long arms lifted to brush his fingers against the other's face, a shaky sound escaping him.]
It's not your fault...you couldn't...you didn't have a choice and Skye knew that.
[Bucky didn't change. He stayed a polar bear but he settled onto the ground, resting his head on Fitz's knee. Skye was right; being an animal was easier.
It was his fault.]
She wouldn't let me die instead. I wanted to, but-
[Bucky hadn't wanted Skye to suffer, either. He hadn't wanted her to die, but- but he'd been as good to her as he could. He made sure she hadn't had a lot of time to dwell on it before it happened. He would have done the same for any of them, if he'd had to.
But Skye would be back, and things would get better.
[Fitz outright flinched at the question, his hand stilling on Bucky's head as he stared down at it. On his palm a name was etched, burned into his skin and constantly throbbing. He was going to have to do something about it eventually but he was fighting it. Fighting every single urge and voice in his head.
But the question was, would he be able to hold out?]
[Gently, he bumped his head up against Fitz's hand, opening his eyes. He wasn't sure if that meant Fitz had already been through the same thing Skye and him had, or if it had yet to happen, but he didn't want to outright ask, either.]
[His ears flickered when Fitz kissed him, and he rumbled softly. He couldn't smile, and he couldn't kiss Fitz back unless Fitz felt up to being covered in bear slobber, so that was the best he could do.
Fitz also didn't sound too sure on that, but if he wouldn't accept help, Bucky didn't have the energy to push it.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
<sergeant>
She wouldnt let it be me
<labmonkey>
she
her name was on your hand
wasn't it
<sergeant>
I'm sorry
<labmonkey>
what did you
where did you bury her bucky?
<sergeant>
I didnt want anything to get her
<labmonkey>
where are you?
<sergeant>
I stopped by home to clean up
<labmonkey>
please.
i need to see you.
<sergeant>
Okay. I'll be there
<labmonkey> --> [Action]
[And he would be. It would be pretty hard to miss the black, sickly looking horse pacing through the shallow waters at the edge of the lake, tossing it's head every once and awhile as if trying to rid itself of some terrible thoughts.
Thoughts like one of the people he loved being dead.]
[Action]
He didn't know what to expect; he could tell if Fitz was angry with him over text or not.]
[Action]
For a moment the kelpie just lingered where he was, ears falling back in a distressed manner before they flicked upright again, a shudder running through his frame before he finally started moving. Slow steps took him out of the water and over to the bear, hollow eyes staring at the other before he leaned down to bump his head against the other's.
He didn't have words right now, didn't trust himself to speak really, but he could do this at least.]
[Action]
He lifted his head at the bump, nuzzling weakly against Fitz.] I'm sorry.
[Action]
[The word comes out softly but there's an edge to it at the same time, a small bite as Fitz closes his eyes and just presses further into the nuzzle.
He didn't want to talk about it. Not yet. It was too fresh, too much right now. And Bucky--Gods Bucky had been the one to do it. Fitz could only imagine how much the other was beating himself up right now.
So..no words. Just..just nuzzling. For right now.]
[Action]
It was Bucky's fault. He wondered how upset they would be if things had been reversed. They'd known each other far longer than they'd known Bucky. It would have been easier if it was him. But it was done and over with and it didn't matter how much he thought about the would haves.]
[Action]
Long arms lifted to brush his fingers against the other's face, a shaky sound escaping him.]
It's not your fault...you couldn't...you didn't have a choice and Skye knew that.
[Action]
It was his fault.]
She wouldn't let me die instead. I wanted to, but-
[But Skye had been stubborn. He closed his eyes.]
[Action]
[Skye was just that type of person and Fitz knew it. He also knew that Bucky probably made it as quick and painless as possible for her.
So despite how much the situation sucked..
Resting a hand on the other's head once Bucky settles, Fitz gives him a gentle albeit sad look.]
She'll be back. And then it'll..everything will be okay.
[Action]
But Skye would be back, and things would get better.
He huffed out a breath softly.]
Are you- did- are you okay?
[Action]
But the question was, would he be able to hold out?]
..I'm alright. For now.
[Action]
Any way I can help?
[Action]
No, I'll be alright.
[Even if he didn't sound confident about that.]
I want you to just relax and rest. And look after Skye until she gets back, okay?
[Action]
Fitz also didn't sound too sure on that, but if he wouldn't accept help, Bucky didn't have the energy to push it.]
I will. I'll keep her safe.